Some Realistic New Year’s Resolutions for 2015*

If you’re sick of making the same old New Year’s resolutions why not try these ones you could actually stick to.

2015 is upon us and with it comes another round of pledge making. If you’re like me you’re probably sick of making the same New Years Resolutions each year. As hard as I try I need to be realistic, I’m never going to, “Eat less chocolate,” and it’s too hard to, “Spend less money on Disney Blu-Rays,” when they just keep coming out. So instead, here are a couple of resolutions which might just be something we can actually stick to. 

“Get into shape”

In 2014 Jane Lynch tweeted, “I am not going to start a diet.” This is probably the best advice I’ve heard all year. I mean, how many times have you promised to start a new exercise routine or change your eating to get into shape? These changes have probably lasted about two weeks before the lazy bug takes over. Scott Gooding, of My Kitchen Rules, told PopSugar, “My New Year’s resolution is to simply eat slower!” Gooding suggested that his busy lifestyle meant that he would eat his food, “Like there was no tomorrow.” Instead of vacuuming the food off your plate, take the time to chew and taste what’s there. Doing this actually tricks your brain into thinking it’s fuller. If you must start a fitness routine then please make sure you have a goal in mind. Be like Jason Segel, who in 2011 told PopSugar, “I’d like to get Ryan Reynolds’ body. I’m close – I mean, I’m like a week away!”

“Become an eco-warrior”

Of course you could completely remove plastic from your lifestyle, reduce your CO2 emissions and only make food purchases with the Australian Certified Organic label. I’ve always been a firm believer in doing things step by step; starting with baby steps and working things into your routine. I admire Luke Hines’ (My Kitchen Rules) suggestion to, “Eat the fridge and pantry empty before I shop again.” This is certainly something we can all try do do more of considering 800,000 tonnes of food gets thrown out each year in NSW alone. Hines told PopSugar, “It really shows how much I can minimise [waste] and get really creative in the kitchen using what’s on hand.” If this is too hard, you could always take udemy/BLOG’s suggestion to finish your old chapstick before buying a new one.

“Get an education”

If you’re about to start uni this year then you’ve no doubt ticked this one off. If not, then there are other options. You could take Hilary Duff’s advice and “Read more books,” but often there just isn’t enough time to read these days. Instead we could “educate” ourselves through our favourite television shows. Learn chemistry through an episode of Breaking Bad, or you could brush up on your medical terminology with Scrubs re-runs. Game of Thrones could help you with your get an idea of how Ancient History Works while budding journos should tune into The Newsroom. Let’s not forget Suits which a few friends studying law have claimed to be of great help during exam prep. If you’re like me then you too could learn about animation by watching the bonus features of most Disney DVD’s (and then watch the movies).

“Change my passwords”

If you want a really useful New Year’s Resolution then it’s probably a good idea to change your passwords. The Huffington Post lists “123456”, “password” and “qwerty” within the top five most used passwords in the world. Microsoft suggests using a combination of both upper and lowercase letters, numbers and symbols for a strong password. Just make sure that you use a unique password for all your accounts and avoid using a part of your personal information. It’s also good to change you passwords regularly.

“Learn a decent party trick”

If all else fails you could learn a new party trick that will actually impress your friends, such as cool dance moves or tying a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue. Warning: alcohol and pointy metal objects don’t mix well so err on the side of caution with this one.

*I’d like to point out that this is a work of satire and does intend to mock anyone mentioned within or surrounding the article. The suggestions are intended as humour. 

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